What a Bitch...

Bitch a very popular word in west usually associated with females with Mayawati sort of behavior , sometimes even associated with animals or problems or loosing sports team or infinite unpleasant situations, conditions applied you gotta be carrying two bottle of vodkas in your belly. A word which is with the speed of shatabdi express is becoming the ‘fancy’ word of ‘awe in west’ east side of world. Well female readers cool down your quickly carrot turning noses, I mean here the bitch called life.
Interesting language we have, bitch=life, dreams=parents disapproval, freedom=don’t do ungli to society, arrange marriage=mujhse koi phasi nahi yar(you read respect for parents), USA/UK/RUSSIAN/ETC= saala angrez hai, peace=four bomb blasts every year(though our defense minister says be thank full we only got 3 this year), India=Marathi, tamil, Punjabi, can’t write all I intended to write a small blog. Sometimes I wonder we could have done without some words,too many words too many languages too many confusions, Telugu Ramayana says Ravana was God, U.P ki Ramayana says Ravan ki maa ki jay(you know what I mean),shahrukh says Ra.one, na I didn’t make that film. I know I know I was talking about life toh itna khichdi kyun kar raha hun, well lets go point to point. Why is life a bitch?, because the standard definition of bitch says a female which is not liked by society ( I am talking about the gentry wali dictionary), and as I see people around me complaining about life too much, so does that proves life is a bitch because society doesn’t like it, I am not going into the gender but read between the lines, will you?
I somewhere believe that our lives are directly associated to the country or society we live in. So does that mean we are an unhappy country? I hardly doubt that because surveys say that we are among the most happy countries, we have the malyas, the ambanis, the mittals, the gandhis, the mayawati decorating elephants ( I have something against that women), the khans, the tendulkars, the etcs, then what makes us unhappy? We are suppose to be the best engineers, the doctors, the best and totally best zero inventors(mathematicians but sorry I want this blog to be funny), we are the ones obama warns his country of, we are suppose to be street smart, ambitious, hungry for success, but I guess hunger to our country is a different concept, we are highly applying it by depriving 30% of our hippo population of food and food and yes food. So is that our country’s problem, is that why my society is sad, is that the reason behind my life being a bitch? Or mayawati cutting 5 lakh ka b’day cakes(gosh! I guess I am in love with her), politicians enjoying hormonical imbalance in the assemblies, some pandey chick stripping in public and sachin’s hundred, is that why my country is down or my society is sad and my life is a bitch?
May be our country’s very much celebrated culture is catching on a flue from further east and farther west, Politicians from east and janta from west respectively. I guess my country is getting ill, shall I call our doctors from USA or Sonia Gandhi from medical checkup in London, may be that will help my country, my society or may be me but my friend says his life is a bitch because some bitch, I will censor the next few words, has dumped him, even after he bought her pricey gifts and blah blah. Gosh! Too many confusions , too many questions and arrgh! I am back to square one or say zero, makes us Indians proud. So life is a bitch, read between the lines will you? Or shall I say read btw d lines wil u?...:p
(sorry for disappointing all the hormonically patriotic guys, who started reading this blog as they thought I gonna bash at some male perspective dominated relationship problems, may be next time fellas)

The world will end in 2012

I woke up today and saw no one around me, no excitement for the new morning, no fear for the hard day coming ahead, I didn’t brush my teeth, I didn’t bow to the rising sun, I didn’t check my alarm clock, I just logged in on facebook. My mind suddenly logged out and went running into the memory lane through facebook time, orkut time, gmail time, yahoo mail time to new computer time to Oh! my God you have a computer time and realized what shallow life I have now, may be the world is really gonna end in 2012.
As I walked on this bridge I realized there was a time when I use to wake up to my mom’s call or my father’s roar, my day use to start with the fear of not doing the homework to the excitement of the only game period in the whole week. The excitement of meeting friends or glossy stares at my 2 year elder crush. Life was not meant to be taken seriously apart from the annual and half yearly exams or the hindi teacher banging your back like the door of his first unfulfilled love. The big future was never impossible and the dreams were gladly not practical, as I sadly wake up from my calculated dreams I think may be the world is gonna end in 2012.
I use to cherish the arrival of new guests, new sweets, new memories and new change. I didn’t use to bother how much money I had in my pocket, may be happiness was not that expensive earlier . I use to share my happiness or my crapyness from top to bottom with my parents, I use to like the change, the change of class, change of house, change of crushes, whatever change but still change was good. I don’t like change now, I am too lazy to shift, I don’t like new office or new crew, I don’t like my parents interfering in my stuff, I don’t like arrival of guests, It makes feel crowded as I am too busy in facebook world hardly crowded in my zillion number of close friends. As I think of it now I miss the earlier change, I miss having feelings, may be the world is gonna end in 2012.
Festivals were colorful, greetings were shared by hugging or distributing sweets not by sending messages a day before as they don’t cost anything or they will catch the so called sms jam of festive season. It was an ideal excuse to call your attractive friend but the threat was her father might pick up or her elder sibling, what you gonna say then, “I need science notes” or “ramesh hai”?, nahi oops sorry wrong number. It use to take huge planning and coordination to speak to your rival gender friend, she was not just a facebook request or a sms away. May be it wasn’t that easy earlier or may be its too easy now, may be the world will end in 2012.
I have started watching news channels, I wake up without alarm clocks, I take stress of my work, sometimes I even cook for myself, sometimes I don’t even fight with my mom because either I am too lazy or I just think that she wont understand. I keep a track of my back account and do you believe it, I have started writing blogs, may be the world is really gonna end in 2012.
Global warming, pollution, dirty politics, rising economy, empty pockets, natural calamities and much more impactful man-made calamities who knows what will end the world, but after losing the inner warmth, the feelings of innocence, the juice of friendship, and the highly over-rated weight to money, don’t you wish the world shall end in 2012. Who knows after killing the beautiful world we had, we might end up killing the rest of the world left around us, MAY BE THE WORLD WILL END IN 2012.